


A Series of Firsts

by skelpielimmer



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Attraction, Blow Jobs, Dry Humping, F/M, First Kiss, First Time, OotP, Oral Sex, Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter), Remadora, Sex, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Vaginal Fingering, remus x tonks - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:02:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28105182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skelpielimmer/pseuds/skelpielimmer
Summary: Three firsts for Remus and Tonks. OotP.
Relationships: Remus Lupin/Nymphadora Tonks
Comments: 25
Kudos: 58





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back! Here's another 'story' that ended up just being an excuse for me to get some smut out there. It's sprinkled with a bit of plot, but don't be fooled - it's mostly smut lol. This was originally going to be a oneshot but as per usual everything I write ends up being too fucking long so this will likely be a three-parter. Tags will be updated as necessary. Editing on this part was slightly shoddy, so please forgive any glaring errors - I will amend at my earliest opportunity.
> 
> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy!

The first night they slept together was after a mission, and it happened to _also_ be the night they first kissed. The first night they overtly acknowledged that there was any attraction between them, really.

Their mutual attraction had been obvious, sure. Tonks could practically feel the sexual tension crackling between them; it was getting to the point where she was rather worried that the entire Order would be able to tell if they didn't find a way to resolve it soon (and she did quite hope that it would resolve itself in sex, but she didn't want to get her hopes up too far). But she still didn't quite have the courage to do anything about it. Until that night, that is.

They'd been keeping an eye on a couple of suspected Death Eaters in some dingy pub. As far as Death Eaters went, these two, Oren Bates and Lyman Knowles, were pretty much at the bottom of the food chain, so it was theoretically supposed to be an easy watch. They'd each ordered a drink in an attempt to look less suspicious. They'd even managed to finish their drinks before they realized that the two men they were keeping an eye on were glancing over at them far too often to be a coincidence.

And so they'd made their exit, trying to walk quickly but naturally as the door to the pub swung shut behind them. Making their way up the street, Tonks reached out and took Remus' hand. "We're just a couple who's out for a drink and a stroll," she explained in a low but strained voice, and she could tell from how she had to gently unclench his hand before lacing her fingers through his that he was as tense as she felt. The two of them tensed up when they heard the door to the pub open and shut again behind them in the distance. Remus turned his head very slightly to the side, jaw clenching as he did so.

"They're following us," he said quietly.

"I thought we were careful, and these two seem like a couple of dunces - how could they have known?"

"Who knows. Perhaps they recognized me." Tonks had been in disguise that night, her hair morphed a slightly less conspicuous brunette color, but Remus generally had to be more careful not to be seen. He'd been the one to sit with his back to their targets' table, but Tonks supposed that perhaps they had simply gotten unlucky this time around. There was also the fact that they had started to suspect that the barman at this particular pub was sympathetic to the Death Eater cause, as this was the third time in as many weeks that they'd spied on a huddled, whispered meeting at this particular location; Remus had been the one to order the drinks, and so Tonks wondered if maybe the barman had tipped the other two men off. Still, she supposed it didn't matter now. What mattered was that they were certainly being followed.

Remus squeezed her hand slightly just as she heard the footsteps pick up their pace between them. "Tonks -"

"We need to find a place to hide or apparate," she whispered. "We can't duel them here, it's too risky. There's too high a chance a muggle will come down the street." While she was relieved that the street they were walking down was currently deserted, something about the quiet put her even more on edge, as well.

"Tonks, we are in plain sight right now - if they get any closer, if they get any quicker, we need to run -"

"Oi!" Tonks felt her blood run cold at the sound of Bates calling after them. "You! Don't act like you don't know we're talking to you, we saw you!" Tonks turned her head slightly to the side to see Remus continue staring straight ahead as they picked up their pace, both struggling to maintain the appearance of strolling casually down the pavement. "Oi! Dog! Turn around and acknowledge when a person is speaking to you!"

Tonks felt Remus stiffen. "It's me. They did, they recognized me. Tonks, we have to -"

"Oi, werewolf!" The footsteps were getting even closer now. Tonks could hear her heartbeat pounding in her ears.

"Run," she breathed. Remus turned his head slightly to look at her, gave the tiniest of nods, and then they were running.

Remus was taller, but Tonks had always been quick - and for all her clumsiness, she was surprisingly agile when the moment called for it. She was ahead of Remus and their pursuers - she could hear Remus' footsteps a bit further behind her. She nearly skidded around a corner, and was relieved to hear Remus follow her. She suddenly came up on a small alley, if it could even be called that - it was barely big enough for two people to walk through side by side - and making a split second decision, she ducked into the crevice. She waited until Remus' footsteps came even closer, and then at the last second she reached out, just barely managed to grab him by the arm of his jacket, and pulled him into the alley. He crashed into her, grabbing her shoulders to steady her as she stumbled backwards against the wall; they just managed to right themselves again, and quickly and silently moved deeper into the alley as they heard their pursuers come around the corner.

"They definitely came this way, but I don't see them. Reckon they apparated out of here already?" Tonks noted with slight pleasure that Knowles sounded winded.

Bates let out a grunt of frustration. "Likely. We're due back, anyway. We'll have to tell the rest of them that we're being watched, but I say we just tell them the werewolf and his bitch apparated out as soon as we left the pub. 'Else they'll give us hell for coming back empty-handed and I don't have the patience for that shit tonight." She shuddered at the wet sound of one of them spitting on the ground. "Half-breed scum. We should have confronted them in the pub."

Tonks slid her hand down Remus' arm to take his hand again, squeezing it as the two men passed the entrance to the alleyway; they didn't even spare it a second glance, and Tonks found herself thanking Merlin not for the first time that these two were not quite the sharpest adversaries they'd encountered. She heard their voices fading as they continued to walk further away; then she heard two pops of apparition, and all was silent again.

She let out a breath she hadn't even realized she'd been holding. "Fuck, that was close. You alright?"

Remus was pale. But he nodded, turning his head to look at her. "Fine. Are you?"

"I'm fine." Tonks realized now that when they were moving deeper into the alley, Remus had managed to position himself so that Tonks was closer to the wall, his body slightly shielding hers from the entrance of the alleyway; had it been anyone else, Tonks would have been rather miffed, but she somehow couldn't really be annoyed with Remus, even when he was being a tad overprotective. In fact, it _was_ something about him that had used to annoy her, but lately, she couldn't really find it within herself to mind. It didn't help matters that he was standing so close that she could feel his body heat, and she had to admit that may have been distracting her a bit.

She glanced at Remus again; his jaw was still clenched. "Are you...I didn't mean just physically. You okay? I mean, the things they were saying."

"Oh, I'm used to that," he said rather dismissively, but she didn't miss the way he avoided her eyes as he did so. "I'm sorry you had to hear that, and that they referred to you as - referred to you the way they did."

She chewed her lip for a moment. "You know hearing stuff like that doesn't make me think any differently of you, right?"

He smiled at her now, and this looked to be almost genuine. "Of course, Tonks."

"Okay, good." Her arm brushed against his again; he really was standing quite close to her. "Well," she continued, grinning, "at least we got a drink out of the ordeal, eh? Maybe we should do this again sometime. But no Death Eaters next time, just the two of us." She flushed as soon as she realized how that sounded. It wasn't that she _didn't_ want to do this again with him - and she did quite want to do this again, but for real, not under the pretense of an Order mission - but she had only just started to try and figure out how best to navigate whatever sort of mess of feelings was going on between them. The last thing she wanted to do was scare him off now, just when she was trying to make sense of the whole thing.

He turned to face her completely now, and she felt her breath catch in her throat at the way he was looking at her. For weeks now, she'd wondered if he noticed whatever it was that was between them. She knew there was _something_ there. But she wondered if he was _really_ aware, if he knew that she felt the same way. And now, as he looked at her, she knew that he did. Her heart was still pounding with adrenaline from their close call, though the way her stomach was flipping now had to do with something else entirely.

"Tonks?"

"Yes, Remus?"

He stared at her a moment longer, signs of a brief internal struggle flashing almost undetected across his face. She looked up at him, silently willing him to ask the question that she wanted him to ask. He opened his mouth, snapping it shut again almost immediately, and she knew that she'd have to be the one to prod this along.

"Kiss me," she urged. "I want it, too. Please kiss -"

She was cut off as he suddenly pushed her up against the wall and pressed his mouth against hers. He kissed her roughly, sloppily, he tasted like gin, and she thought it might be the best thing to happen to her in a long time.

Suddenly he started to pull back, almost as soon as he had begun. "Tonks -" There was a trace of a question in his voice.

"Please don't stop, I've been waiting for this for ages," she mumbled, wrapping her arms around his neck and winding her fingers into his hair to keep him pressed as closely to her as possible. He groaned, the noise a low rumble in his throat; as her tongue stroked his, her teeth nipping lightly at his bottom lip. If she was being honest with herself, she'd been imagining this moment for awhile, and now she felt the flicker of arousal that usually accompanied her fantasies ignite low in her belly as he grabbed her hips and pulled her even closer to him.

She was barely aware of the rough brick digging into her back as he pressed himself more fully against her and she realized that he was hard. Even through layers of clothing, the feeling of his cock pressing against her belly sent a surge of arousal straight to her core. "Come home with me," she murmured against his lips.

He pulled back, and Tonks could tell immediately from the look on his face that he was as aroused as she was; there was no trace of doubt in his eyes now as he looked down at her, only want. This realization, as almost surprising as it was, gave her a shock of pleasure. "I would," he replied, voice gravelly, "but one of us needs to check back in at headquarters -"

"You check in," she replied breathlessly. "Check in with Sirius, tell him I went home, make up some drivel about wanting to check on me or that we need to discuss what happened tonight, and then come meet me." Remus had been to her flat once before - to do just that, in fact, checking in on her after a mission.

He looked at her searchingly for a moment. "Alright then," he said, nodding. He stepped back, and they moved further into the alleyway so that they could safely apparate.

"Come meet me," she said again. "I mean it." He nodded, and then turned on his heel and was gone.

Back in her flat, she paced nervously for several minutes, making a few distracted attempts to pick up some of the clutter that always managed to find its way to the front entryway. She paused once in front of the mirror, screwing her face up and morphing back to her regular pink. That was one of the things she liked about Remus; he'd mentioned a few times that he liked her hair pink. He liked _her_. He liked her as she liked herself. For who she was, not for what she could do. That was refreshing, appealing.

But was he going to come back? Remus was an overthinker; in the heat of the moment, she'd seen it clearly on his face, how much he'd wanted this, too - how much he'd wanted _her_. But once he got back to headquarters, once he was in the cold, dingy house, once he had spoken to Sirius who was, no doubt, waiting up by the fire with a glass of whiskey as he often did when the two of them were sent out on late-night missions - would he still want it? Or rather, would he _allow_ himself to want it? Had she just buggered everything up and scared him off forever?

She was startled out of her anxious musings by a knock on the door. She opened it to find Remus standing in front of her doorway. He'd come.

"What's my favorite candy?" she asked, voice trembling only slightly.

"Pink coconut ice from Honeydukes," he answered with a small smile. "Which muggle author was I reading in the library when you came in before our last meeting?"

"E.M. Forster," she answered. "You came."

"I did." He suddenly looked slightly unsure, and she threw the door open wide before he could start to change his mind. "Only if I'm still -"

"Of course you're still welcome, I was afraid you wouldn't but I was really hoping you would. Come in." He stepped into her flat, and as she shut the door and re-did the security charms, she could feel his eyes on her. She turned around again, and they were still for a moment, only looking at each other. Everything felt more real, more bare, more vulnerable now, the two of them alone in her flat.

Remus chewed his lip, his brow furrowing as it always did when he was thinking; he seemed again to be on the verge of trying to say something that he couldn't make himself say. And so Tonks knew that it would be up to her again.

"I want you, Remus." Forward, to the point; that was usually how she operated, so why should this be any different? Still, for a brief moment she was afraid she'd made a mistake; but then Remus met her eyes again, and the desire in them was unmistakable.

"I do, too," he said quietly.

She wasn't sure who moved towards the other first, but suddenly, they were entwined in a passionate embrace for the second time that evening. He kissed her even more desperately than he had in the alleyway, and she couldn't remember the last time she had wanted someone so badly.

"Bedroom?" she managed, and he nodded before she practically dragged him down the hallway to her room.

They undressed frantically between hungry, messy kisses, neither one of them willing to move away from the other longer than it took to quickly strip off an article of clothing until finally they were both completely naked. Tonks backed up, pulling him down on the bed with her.

He kissed his way down her neck, down her breasts, taking one of her nipples in his mouth and swirling his tongue around as she moaned. She tightened her grip in his hair, holding his head there, until he continued his pathway down her abdomen with his mouth, pressing soft, wet kisses to the skin of her belly. He reached her hip, sucking lightly on the skin above her pelvic bone before continuing down, down, even further down until his lips were ghosting over her inner thigh just above her knee.

"Tonks," he murmured against her skin.

"Mmm?" she managed, unsure if he was attempting a question or not. His hair was tickling one of her thighs, the stubble on his cheeks scratching pleasantly against the other as he continued to mouth gently at her skin. Her arousal was bordering on painful now.

"I just want to be honest with you - I haven't done this with a woman in quite awhile, so I likely won't last long. And so..." he gently traced a light path with his tongue, higher up her thigh, until he was nearly to the crease of where her leg met her hip. She felt as if all the air had escaped her lungs. "I don't want you to be disappointed."

"Definitely won't be, seeing as you're off to a great start already," she managed. "No pressure, okay?"

"Okay," he agreed. "But still. I'd like both of us to enjoy this, so may I...?" he trailed off now, and it was apparent what he wanted to do as his lips brushed against her. The feeling of his breath so close to her center was making it nearly impossible to vocalize any of the thoughts that were moving sluggishly through her head.

"Be my guest," she replied with a grin. "You might be interested to know that I've thought about this exact scenario a number of times, in fact, so you can imagine how happy I am that it's coming to fruition."

"Are you now?" he replied teasingly, smirking even as his cheeks colored slightly. But she didn't get a chance to answer before she finally felt his tongue where she most wanted it. He circled his tongue slowly around her clit, glancing up to gauge her reaction as he did so, and the experience of making eye contact with him while his face was between her thighs was nearly too much for her.

"Oh, fuck," she moaned, reaching down to tug on his hair. "Fuck, your mouth feels so good. You're so good."

He groaned at her praise, and reached one of his hands that had been holding her waist down between his own legs as he kneeled on the bed between hers; she felt a sudden thrill of pleasure as she realized he was touching himself now, stroking his cock as his tongue lapped at her. He stopped suddenly, and she nearly whined at the loss of sensation.

"Sorry, is that okay if I -?"

"Yes, it's fucking hot, keep doing everything you're doing," she replied hurriedly. He grinned at her, and she was struck by how much younger he looked when he did so; he then immediately resumed his ministrations between her thighs, left hand simultaneously resuming its stroking motion between his own legs.

She felt warmth pooling in her belly as he continued to lick her, his movements sloppier now; one hand remaining tangled in his hair to keep his face pressed against her, she reached her other hand up to fondle her breast, rolling and pinching her nipple between her fingers as his tongue continued to stroke her clit.

"Fuck, keep doing that," she panted. He grabbed her hips with both hands now, pinning her down as she started to squirm. "Don't stop, Remus. You're so good. Your mouth is so good. You're so fucking sexy. I can't wait to feel your cock inside me. I loved seeing you touch your cock like that, it's so fucking hot. I can't wait to - to - oh, _fuck_ ." Her babbled stream of filthy encouragement broke off into a cry of pleasure as she came, her back arching up off the bed, pulling on Remus' hair in a way she was certain was painful, though judging by the way he was moaning against her as his tongue continued to gently work her through her orgasm, he didn't seem to mind it.

He gently kissed his way back up her body as her breathing slowed, and she grabbed his head to pull him down for another kiss. She could taste herself on his lips, and she realized that her orgasm had done little to dull the ache between her legs.

"Was that okay?" he asked quietly between kisses.

"That was more than okay," she replied, drawing back with a grin. "By the way, if my filthy talk is too much -"

"No, I - I quite liked it," he admitted, flushing slightly.

"Then why don't you get on with shagging me and see what I have to say about that?" she replied. He laughed, slipping a hand between her legs to perform a quick contraceptive charm before moving over her to settle between her thighs; she felt his erection brush against her, and she had to bite her lip against a moan.

"Are you sure this is alright? That you want this?"

"I want this very much. Do you?"

"I do; of course I do." Looking into her eyes, he reached down now to position himself against her center, and then he slowly pushed inside her, holding her gaze the entire time. A groan tumbled from his lips as his hips pressed completely against hers.

"You feel - fuck, you feel good," he said, his voice husky. "Tonks, I really - I don't think I'm going to last very -"

"I don't care," she said breathlessly. "Your cock feels so good; please just fuck me, Remus, don't worry about - oh, _fuck._ " He'd started to rock his hips against hers, and she hooked her legs around his waist, her heels pressing into his the small of his back. He let out a quiet moan as the new angle allowed him to thrust even deeper. "Fuck, Remus, right there - _harder -"_

He lowered his face now to press his lips to hers in a messy, open-mouthed kiss, groaning into her mouth as he picked up the pace of his thrusting. Tonks felt another thrill of pleasure at how frantically he was fucking her now, their moans becoming louder and nearly drowning out the knocking of the headboard against the wall. Whenever she'd fantasized about their first time shagging, this is exactly what she'd wanted, but she'd figured he'd be more cautious, more gentle and hesitant. She'd have enjoyed that as well, and she secretly hoped they'd have many more opportunities to discover many different flavors of sex with one another in the future, but right now she couldn't help but feel slightly awed that she had the privilege of watching Remus Lupin come undone as he fucked her senseless into the mattress.

"Fuck, just like that - harder, Remus, I want you to fuck me till you come. I want you to come for me." She could feel his arms start to tense up; one of his hands had wound its way into her hair, and his grip tightened, tugging on the pink locks.

"Fuck, Tonks," he grunted, his voice rough. "I'm close. I'm - should I -"

"Come inside me," she urged. "I want you to come inside me."

He thrust even deeper inside her two or three more times, and then dropped his head to her shoulder, pressing a wet kiss to her neck and moaning against the damp skin there as he came.

He remained inside her for several moments, and she could feel his heart pounding from his chest pressed against hers. He gently pulled out of her now, and rolled over so that he was propped up on his side, facing her. He was gazing at her with a rather dazed look on his face, though she was alarmed to notice the appearance of the crease between his brows as he pondered something.

"Before you go on worrying, I just want to say that that was bloody fantastic," she said, a hint of warning to her voice as he opened his mouth. "And no, I don't regret anything." His mouth snapped shut promptly, and now it looked as if he was holding back a laugh.

"Sorry, Tonks. You know me too well," he replied rather sheepishly. "I'm sorry, I just...it's just that..."

Her face softened. "I'm just teasing, but I don't want you to feel anxious about anything. What's wrong, Remus?"

"You don't...don't get me wrong, I quite enjoyed myself, I just don't want you to regret...well, you know. Because of what I am."

"Remus," she scoffed. "What kind of person do you think I am? Of course I don't regret it. In fact, I'd like to keep doing this regularly, if that's something you'd be up for. I'm rather a fan of orgasms, as I'm sure you are as well." She yawned now, and he chuckled as she tucked herself against his shoulder.

She looked up to see him grin now, a look of relief washing over his face as he slid an arm around her. "I would certainly be up for that. This was - this was really nice. Thank you, Tonks." He dropped a quick kiss to her forehead, and Tonks remarked at how natural it felt to have him in her bed, to curl up under his arm against her pillows as if they hadn't been mere colleagues and friends a few hours prior. She wasn't sure what they would be now, but that was a conversation for tomorrow. For now, she was suddenly exhausted by the sex and the preceding dark wizard chase that had somehow landed them here, and so she contented herself with making idle chit chat with Remus until sleep would claim them both.


	2. Chapter 2

The first time she blew him, it was in the library of headquarters during the Order's holiday party.

They'd been shagging for a few months now; it was definitely more than just shagging, but Tonks wasn't quite sure what they were calling it. In all actuality, they were dating; but she knew that using that exact term might freak Remus out, and she was content to take things at his pace for now. It was only really that specific label that was missing, and Tonks had never cared much for labels anyway.

They _acted_ like they were dating. They spent nearly all of their free time together; lots of it was spent keeping Sirius company at headquarters, but they managed to find plenty of time alone just for talking or working and reading in companionable silence with each other. Sometimes, if it had been a long day, he'd meet her at her flat after work, often bearing a container or two from her favorite takeaway spot; they'd sit on her sofa and eat together while Tonks told him about her day at work and Remus made her laugh with some anecdote about some ridiculous theory Sirius had about Buckbeak's rat preferences or a strange encounter with Mundungus in a dark corner of headquarters. At least half of the Order had seemed to have cottoned on to the fact that there was something going on between them; Remus surprisingly didn't seem to mind too much, and he even seemed pleased if only slightly embarrassed when Molly took to ensuring that they always had seats next to each other at the dinner table, or when Kingsley winked at them as he read their names out as being paired together for a shift on the duty roster. She'd even told him he could call her Dora; it had popped into her head one night, and she wasn't sure why, but it had just seemed right. She'd found that she didn't even really mind her name when he said it anymore, not really. And so she thought she'd save him the trouble of pronouncing at least two of the troublesome syllables, and she had to admit she rather liked the way it sounded coming from Remus. He only called her Dora when they were alone, and usually during sex. She suspected he enjoyed the intimacy of it.

And they had sex; lots of sex. They had rough sex, like the first time they'd slept with each other; they had slower, more sensual sex; and sometimes they just laid on the bed together and snogged like teenagers, hands roaming everywhere. Remus proved to be an attentive lover; after the frenzied, hurried passion of their first time, while he'd seemed a bit embarrassed the first few times after that regarding how out-of-practice he was, he was quick to learn what she liked. And Tonks secretly thought that the fact that she was so vocal during sex, even if most of the things she said made him blush, was a confidence-booster.

There was one thing she'd noticed fairly early on, however. He was enthusiastic about going down on her, something she would _never_ complain about; he was slightly better with his mouth than his fingers, but she still greatly enjoyed what he could do with his hands, and he'd made her come with his fingers several times now. When it came to shagging, he enjoyed missionary, which she also enjoyed; the weight of his body on top of hers, the intimacy of his skin pressed against hers, and the ability to kiss and make eye contact had always been arousing for her. He enjoyed having her on top as well, which was usually her favorite; though he'd been a bit embarrassed the first few times she rode him at how quickly she could make him come, he was finally accepting of the fact that it was something she rather took pride in instead of thinking it a letdown. There were some days when they'd have sleepy morning sex laying on their sides in the bed, him thrusting slowly into her from behind; she especially liked the way he gently kissed her neck and played with her nipples when they fucked like this.

They'd been having _lots_ of sex, and Remus was always surprisingly open to trying different things; however, the one thing she'd noticed was that he never seemed keen on her going down on him. The first time she'd tried, she'd started to kiss her way down his chest; she got to his belly before he realized where she was headed, and he'd gently pulled her head back up to kiss her so intensely that she just about forgot what she had been intending to do in the first place. Another time, he was sitting on the edge of the bed with her straddling his lap while they kissed; she could feel his erection straining against his trousers, and so she'd slid off his lap, dropping to her knees between his legs, and reached up for his belt buckle before he grabbed her hands, tugging her gently to her feet. "Oh, no, Tonks, it's okay. You don't have to," he'd murmured. She'd apologized immediately, as she never wanted to push him beyond what he was comfortable with, but then he'd just looked baffled. "You don't have anything at all to be sorry for," he'd added. And so she was a bit confused, considering she could have sworn she'd seen a look of longing flash across his face when she'd first reached up to undo his fly, before he'd stopped her.

And so she decided to simply ask him. One late night, they were in his room at headquarters; they'd been snogging quite a bit, long, gentle, exploratory kisses while laying back against his pillows, both of them fully clothed still. "Remus," Tonks murmured as his lips moved away from hers to mouth gently at the spot below her ear he knew she liked. "Can I ask you something?"

He drew back immediately. "Of course."

"Don't - it's nothing bad. I'm just wondering. And I'm not saying this because - I don't want you to feel pressured into anything, alright? I'm just curious -"

"Tonks, it's okay," he said gently. "What is it?"

"How come you never want me to suck you off?"

His eyebrows shot up; he seemed genuinely taken aback by the question. "Oh. Erm...I just...why do you ask? Is that - is that something you'd...enjoy doing?"

"Yes," she replied earnestly. "I would. But I mean, only if you'd actually want me to. It's just that the last time I sort of tried, you said 'you don't have to.' I don't - the last thing I want is for you to think that I'm doing it out of obligation, you know. The thought of having your cock in my mouth genuinely turns me on." He blushed now. "And it seems like the idea of it turns you on too, but you keep stopping me because you feel guilty or something."

He looked almost thoughtful now. "I just...well, I've never...it's just never been done to me before by a...it's not been something I've ever felt comfortable asking for."

"Really? Never?"

"Well - not by a woman," he replied, looking a tiny bit embarrassed now. "And not - er - it was only from one person, really. And a long time ago, at that."

That was another conversation that had gone surprisingly smoothly; she'd known he'd been with both men and women, but when he disclosed to her that he and Sirius had used to have something between them, he'd looked terrified that this bit of information would finally be the dealbreaker that would have her run away screaming. But when she'd cracked a joke about how this only showed that at least a few members of the Black family had good taste in men, the tension had immediately melted from his face and he'd grinned at her.

"It's just...I never was with anyone...well, Sirius was really the only person I've been with - before you, I mean - who knew I was a werewolf from the start, and who - who truly understood what that meant." He flushed. "I couldn't ask someone who didn't...who didn't know what I am -"

"Who you are," she corrected automatically. He rolled his eyes, but his lips quirked into a small smile as he continued.

"I couldn't ask someone who wasn't...I never quite felt comfortable asking someone to touch me like that." She knew he'd had a few flings, if they could even be called that, in the past; he'd confided in her that a lot of his sexual experience over the past ten or so years was regrettably forgettable and brief, and many of these encounters had been few and far between.

"Is it something you would want to do? Again, no pressure, so you can be honest if you don't. Or if you do."

"I just..." He looked unsure now. "Are you sure it's something - I mean, you're not just saying this because you feel guilty or like it's expected of you, right?"

"Of course not, Remus. I'm asking because I genuinely want to do it. I enjoy seeing you enjoy yourself, I enjoy getting you off, I enjoy your cock." He snorted. "I think it would be hot to blow you, and if it's something you'd like, I would love to do so."

He seemed to ponder it for a moment longer, then nodded. "I - I maybe would like that. Not tonight, but just..."

"Whenever you want," she reassured him. "Whenever you're ready. No pressure, alright? And if you decide you're not comfortable with it, we don't have to do it. It's all up to you."

And as had been happening rather often lately, whenever one of them opened up to the other about something personal or vulnerable, the sex somehow felt better than ever afterwards, and Tonks was glad in more ways than one that she had brought the topic up.

They hadn't broached it again until the night of the holiday party. She was in the entryway by the cloak rack, digging around in her cloak pocket for her tube of lipstick. As she was swiping it on her lips, Remus came down the stairs; they'd heard a loud crash from one of the upper floors at some point during the party, and he'd offered to go up and ensure that one of the ghouls wasn't causing a huge ruckus.

"There you are," she said brightly. He smiled at her as he came down off the last step, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, standing on her tip-toes to kiss him. "I feel as if I've hardly seen you all evening."

"Yes, the twins have been quite commanding of my attention," he said apologetically. "They have some - er - ideas that they've been seeking opinions on." He ran a hand gently through her hair, a deep burgundy tonight in trying to keep with the festivities, and with lipstick to match. "Which, as entertaining as they are, is also a shame because I haven't gotten a chance to tell you how beautiful you look tonight."

She grinned. "Flattery will get you everywhere, Professor." He kissed her again, more deeply this time; she closed her eyes, running her hands through his hair as his tongue swept across her bottom lip.

"Speaking of," he murmured against her lips, "before anyone sees their former professor snogging in the hallway and suffers irreparable damage from the sight..." She felt a brief flash of disappointment as he pulled away, but it was quickly replaced by a thrill of pleasure as he took her hand and gently tugged her into the library. "Perhaps we should take this somewhere _slightly_ more private." He shut and locked the door behind them, turning to give her a rather boyish grin. "If you don't mind me stealing you away from the party for a few moments."

"Not at all," she replied breathlessly, taking him by the hand and leading him over to the sofa nearest to the fireplace before pushing him down onto the cracked leather. "As long as you make it worth my while, that is."

"I'll see what I can do," he said, smiling up at her as she slowly and carefully straddled him, willing herself not to knee him in any sensitive areas, as she was unfortunately wont to do at the worst times. She managed to settle into his lap without incident and leaned in to kiss him, but he gently stopped her with a hand cupped to her cheek. "I'd hate to smudge this lovely lipstick you're wearing," he teased, brushing his thumb across her lips. "This color really does suit you, by the way."

"Smudge-proof," she said, then she parted her lips slightly to suck his thumb into her mouth. His eyes widened, and he swallowed as she swirled her tongue around the tip of his thumb. She released it with a soft pop, and as she shifted in his lap, she felt him grow hard. "Someone liked that," she murmured into his ear, nipping lightly at his earlobe.

He cleared his throat, his ears reddening slightly. She smirked; seeing how flustered she could get him would never get old. "As I told you, you're looking quite beautiful tonight, Nymphadora," he managed, voice cracking slightly as she rolled her hips against his. She immediately repeated the motion, relishing the friction between them, and she let out a quiet moan as she did so. His hands flew up to grip her hips, his fingertips pressing into the thin band of skin exposed above the waistband of her skirt as the hem of her shirt rode up.

"How long do you think we can stay away from the party?" she asked with slight difficulty; it was becoming extremely hard to concentrate on any intelligible thought as Remus was now kissing her neck, his lips moving softly and teasingly in the way he knew she liked.

"Long enough," he mumbled against her skin. In all honesty, Tonks was quickly finding it harder and harder to care whether or not the others noticed they were missing; and even if she had cared, she had a sneaking suspicion that the one person who would _definitely_ notice, Sirius, would be the one person they could count on to cover for them. She was more worried that this would make Remus anxious, but he didn't seem at all concerned as one of his hands now found its way under her shirt to palm gently at her breast. She was grateful for the skimpy, lacy excuse for a bra she had chosen to wear this evening, as Remus easily managed to slip his fingers underneath the elastic band to brush against her nipple; she let out a gasp, and he continued to play with her nipple as it hardened underneath his fingers.

"Good, because I think I - I think I could come from this," she replied, thrusting her hips against his again. She almost felt embarrassed, dry-humping him fully dressed like this, as if they were teenagers; but she had found a good angle and the pressure of his clothed cock against the skimpy barrier of her now damp knickers was sending a jolt of pleasure straight to her belly. Things had been crazy lately as well, and they hadn't been able to see each other for more than a few minutes at a time over the past several days, and so she was feeling rather keyed up at this point. She was vaguely aware of a passing thought that maybe at this point they might as well just go up to his room, but somehow the experience of doing this in the library, in front of the gentle warmth of the fire while a party raged on downstairs, just made everything feel even more intense.

She lowered her face to his now and kissed him deeply, sighing into his mouth as she continued to rock against him. "Oh, _god -_ that actually feels really good -"

"Keep doing that, Dora," he said roughly. His hand moved to grip her hip tightly again, and Tonks was struck by a sudden idea. She reached down to take his hand, bringing it up to her lips and taking his first two fingers into her mouth. His eyes widened again, and he let out a choked noise somewhere between a surprised exclamation and a groan as she stroked his fingers with her tongue.

She continued to grind against him, her hips moving slightly faster now in an attempt to press herself down on him and relieve the ache between her legs. She paused her sucking on his fingers for a moment, still grasping his hand tightly in hers. "Do you like seeing your fingers in my mouth, Remus? Do you like feeling my tongue like that? What if it was your cock? Would you like that?"

"Oh -" he let out a garbled moan at her words, his hips thrusting up against her, sending another surge of arousal through her. She continued to rock against him, kissing him hungrily now, feeling a growing warmth in her core. His hands moved to her ass now, squeezing her and helping guide her frantic movements.

"Fuck - I'm going to come, Remus. Oh, _god_." She thrust against him one more time, and he pulled her tightly against him as she came, moaning his name against his hair. She relaxed against him only for a moment before pulling back to see him watching her with what looked like slight awe and intense arousal. She grinned at him, still slightly dazed from her orgasm. "All that and you've still got your trousers on."

"I would have pulled you away to the library earlier if I knew that this is what would come of it," he replied, his voice hoarse.

"Well, we're not done yet. It's only fair _you_ get to come now so we can both go back to the party happy," she replied teasingly. She carefully slipped off his lap, giving him a quick peck on the lips before sinking to her knees between his legs. His eyes widened again, which would have almost been comical if it she didn't find it so hot to see him so painfully aroused.

"Oh, Dora, you don't have to -"

"Remember what we talked about, Remus? I know I don't have to do anything, I _want_ to. But only if you want me to." She rested her hands on his legs, squeezing his thighs gently as she looked up at him. "Do you want me to?"

"Erm -" He squeezed his eyes shut briefly, and when he opened them again Tonks was almost struck by the raw longing she saw in them.

"Do you want me to suck your cock, Remus?"

"Yes - yes, please," he finally managed.

She grinned up at him. "I'm glad to hear it, because I've been _dying_ to." She reached up to quickly undo his belt buckle, and he lifted his hips slightly so she could pull his trousers and boxers down over his hips to his ankles. He looked painfully hard, his erection nearly pressing against his belly, and his breath audibly caught in his throat as she shuffled closer and her hand brushed against his cock. "You let me know if you want me to change anything, okay? Or if you want to stop?"

He nodded, looking as if he could barely trust himself to get real words out. "Yes - yes, okay."

She trailed her lips up the inside of his thigh, stretching up to place a gentle kiss on his hip. She glanced up at him as she then trailed the tip of her tongue from the base of his erection to the tip; she saw his eyes flutter closed briefly, and heard a sharp intake of breath as she swirled her tongue around the head of his cock, much like she had to his thumb earlier.

"Okay so far?" she murmured, trailing her tongue down the other side of his erection now.

"More than okay," he replied hoarsely. She gave him a small smile, then slowly took him completely into her mouth, until her nose was pressed against his pubic bone. He let out a moan now, hands scrabbling for purchase on the couch cushions as they searched for something to grab. She looked up at him, and waited until he met her eyes to swallow around his cock. He immediately broke eye contact again, squeezing his eyes shut as his hips jerked. " _Fuck -_ "

She started to bob her head up and down; he let out a particularly guttural moan as she started using her tongue on the underside of his cock as she did. She noticed that his hands were twitching slightly as they squeezed the edge of the sofa, as if he wanted to touch her but was afraid to do so. "You can touch me if you want, Remus," she murmured. "You can grab my hair, I like that."

He looked slightly unsure, but brought one of his hands to the back of her head, running his fingers gently through the hair there. She let out a noise of encouragement as she went back to sucking him.

"Fuck, Dora - that feels - that feels really good," he panted, his grip on her hair tightening slightly. She hummed and picked up her speed, still focusing on stroking his the underside of his cock with her tongue as she moved. She noticed his thighs tensing, and his breathing becoming harsher. "Dora, I'm - I'm getting close -"

She pulled back a tiny bit now, switching over to stroking him with her hand while focusing her tongue on the head of his cock. The noises he was making now were rather gratifying, and Tonks made a mental note to try and repeat this many times in the future to thank him for all of the times he'd enthusiastically pleasured her with no expectation of reciprocation.

"Dora - Dora, I'm going to - oh, _fuck_. Dora, I'm going to come -" She took his entire length into her mouth again now as she looked up at him, and his grip on her hair tightened almost painfully as he moaned. "Oh, god. _Fuck_." She felt a thrill of pleasure, as she always did, from hearing him swear; his cock pulsed in her mouth as he came in spurts down her throat, his hips jerking slightly. When she finally pulled away, swallowing the last of his come, he was looking at her with heavy-lidded eyes, his cheeks flushed and chest still rising and falling slightly more rapidly than usual as his breathing slowed. He reached down to pull her up to him, and she stood between his legs, leaning down to kiss him.

"How was that?"

"That was - that was very good," he replied.

She flashed a grin at him. "Good enough to want it again sometime?"

"I - yes, I wouldn't complain," he replied, with a small, sheepish smile. He stood now with a quiet grunt, leaning over to pull up his trousers and redo his flies. "You sure that was - you didn't mind that?"

"Remus, I just swallowed your come. Of course I didn't mind that. I quite enjoyed myself, in fact." She pressed another quick kiss to his lips. "And I told you this lipstick was smudge-proof."

He smirked slightly, brushing his thumb over her lips. "Smudge-proof, indeed."

"And now that we've each had our orgasm, we should likely get back to the party. But perhaps we can continue this later."

"I'd like that," he agreed. He glanced at his watch now, wincing. "We should indeed get back to the party. Fair warning, Sirius will have something embarrassing to say, I guarantee it. He'll definitely have noticed we've been gone."

She waved a dismissive hand. "It was worth it. And we've heard worse from him."

"I can't say that you're wrong," he said. He finished buckling his belt, then reached out to smooth her hair where he had mussed it. He leaned down to press another softer, lingering kiss to her lips again. "Thank you, Tonks."

"No need to thank me," she laughed. "I enjoyed all of that _just_ as much as you did, believe me."

"No, I mean..." his face softened, and he looked almost vulnerable now. "I...I always have a lot of fun with you. And you help me...you help me to feel more comfortable with...well, more comfortable with myself. Which is...not an easy feat, as I'm sure you're unfortunately aware. So - thank you."

Tonks felt a small swoop in her stomach at this admission, and she squeezed his hand tightly. "I'm glad, Remus. Because I really like the person that you are, and I want you to like that person, too, yeah? And I always have fun when I'm with you also, by the way." They'd reached the door to the library now, and Tonks reached out to fix the collar of Remus' shirt one last time before they descended back into the kitchen to rejoin their friends. "Think there'll be any sausage rolls left?"

"Considering Molly made enough to feed every family in England, wizards and muggles alike, I'm sure there will be," Remus reassured her.

"Then let's get some food and refuel so you can shag me properly later," she said, grinning at him. "If we did all that with most of our clothes on, imagine what we can do when we're _naked_."

"Imagine," he replied dryly, rolling his eyes with a small smile as he followed her out of the library and down the stairs. But Tonks felt him grab and squeeze her hand one last time before they entered the kitchen, and for some reason, it was this simple touch that had her smiling for the rest of the evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

The first time she realized she was in love with him, he was brushing his teeth.

She'd stayed the night in his room at Grimmauld, and as happened unfortunately often, she dropped her wand to the floor with a loud clatter as soon as her alarm started to blare. Muttering a stream of curses, she nearly fell out of bed reaching for her wand before managing to grasp it and silence her alarm. Finally sitting back up against the pillows, she looked up blearily to see Remus stepping out of the bathroom that adjoined his room with a toothbrush dangling out of his mouth.

"Sorry for the racket," she said, stifling a yawn. A bit of toothpaste dripped onto his shirt as he mumbled a frothy 'good morning' to her, and she laughed. And as he stood there leaning against the doorframe, hair tousled from sleep and clad only in his tshirt and boxers, those words passed through her mind while he smiled sheepishly at her. _The_ words. _I love you. I fucking love you._ She very nearly blurted them out, too, but she was so taken aback by how fiercely the emotion overcame her that all that came out of her was a weak laugh.

Remus thankfully mistook this laugh as a chuckle at his toothpaste misfortunes; he waved his hand over the stain, managing to vanish it but only dripping more onto his tshirt as he tried to get the incantation out around his mouthful of toothpaste. He rolled his eyes now and disappeared back into the bathroom, where she heard the water running in the sink as he rinsed.

_I love him. I'm in love with Remus._

Of course she was. She wasn't quite sure why she was so surprised; now that she'd had the thought, the thought that she was incontrovertibly in love with Remus Lupin, she realized that she'd been in love with him for awhile now.

She thought back to the last full moon, almost exactly a month ago now. Remus did not like her being around him too close to his transformations; if she was around that day, she'd normally head back home sometime in the early afternoon in order to give him space. She would always return first thing the next morning to check in on him, coming before work if she had to, to bring him biscuits and tea. She worried about him - of course, she always worried about him - but knowing that Sirius was with him had always soothed her anxiety.

Yet something had felt different about her worry last full moon. It had felt sharper as it gnawed at her, more all-consuming. She'd woken up the morning of the full moon to the sound of vomit splattering against ceramic. Disoriented from sleep at first, she'd sat bolt upright in bed as she realized the sound that had woken her up was the sound of Remus retching in the bathroom. She'd gone and crouched beside him, brow crinkling with worry as he'd turned to her from his place on the floor kneeling before the toilet. His face had been pale and sweaty, and he'd recoiled slightly as she cautiously rubbed a hand on his back.

"Oh, Remus - are you alright?" She'd internally cringed; of course he wasn't. But he'd still managed to give her a weak smile before wincing and leaning over the toilet again.

"Sorry if I woke you up," he rasped. "I don't want you to see me like this. You can - you don't have to stay -"

"Please don't worry about that. Can I get you anything? Water, tea, biscuits, anything? What would help?"

"Nothing really helps," he admitted wearily. "But I...I suppose some peppermint tea might be nice. If you were already going to be making something for yourself. You really - if you have something else you need to be doing -"

She'd shushed him. "Peppermint tea it is," she'd replied. "I have an hour and a half until I have to leave for work, and I'm not going anywhere until then unless you really, truly want to be alone."

He'd given her a small, sad smile then, shaking his head almost imperceptibly, and so she'd gone to fetch him some tea. He was back in bed by the time she'd returned to his room, eyes blinking open slowly as she set his tea on the table beside the bed, and she pressed the back of her hand to his forehead as he stirred.

"You're feverish," she'd murmured. "Is it - is it always like this? Is this normal?"

"More or less," he'd said tiredly. "Some months worse than others. They've been better lately, but you're unfortunate enough to be witnessing one of the slightly worse ones now." He'd taken a small sip of tea then, smiling gratefully at her. "Thank you for this."

"Will you...will you be okay today? I can call out of work -"

"Absolutely not," he'd replied firmly. "I'll be fine, Tonks. Please don't worry about me. It's not pleasant, but this is...it's indeed normal. And Sirius will be around if I really need anything." He'd heaved a small sigh, glancing down at the mug of tea that he was clutching tightly with his long fingers. "I'm sorry you have to see me like this. It's...I know it's not -"

"Will you stop apologizing for being sick?" she'd said with an exasperated eye roll. "Merlin, Remus. Don't worry about me right now. I'm just...I wish I could help you feel better." She'd come around the other side of the bed then, slipping under the covers to curl up next to him. He'd flinched slightly as she tangled her legs with his, but then he'd relaxed against the pillows as she began stroking his hair.

"You already are, Tonks," he'd said sleepily. She'd continued to run her fingers through his hair till he was nearly asleep again; when it had been time to get up and head out for work, she'd been extremely reluctant to leave. This wasn't a foreign feeling, for as much as she enjoyed her job, leaving the warmth of bed and human contact early in the morning had always been difficult for her; but this reluctance had felt different. She'd hesitated by the door for several moments longer than she should have, glancing back at Remus as he'd continued to sleep, and noting how even in sleep, his face was drawn and pale and his brow was furrowed in pain. She supposed she should have known at this moment, when she first became aware of this burning longing to protect him from his pain and the stinging disappointment she felt at the knowledge that she couldn't successfully do so, not completely; she should have known that this was love.

But somehow, the realization only hit her now, rather like a freight train, as Remus brushed his teeth and they both went through the regular motions of a hurried morning spent together. He pulled on his trousers and opened his wardrobe, searching for what she knew now to be his favorite faded green jumper; he tossed an offer at her over his shoulder to make her coffee before she left, and she reluctantly declined as she knew that she'd already be late, and the longer she took to leave his small, warm bedroom in headquarters the harder it would be to do so. She was especially reluctant to leave him as the following night was another full moon.

She finally got out of bed, making a halfhearted attempt to pull the duvet up over the pillows since she knew Remus liked his bed to be made first thing, and knowing full well that he would simply remake the bed after she'd left. "I have a watch at the Malfoys' tonight," she said, looping her arms through her bra. "And then I have a double shift tomorrow. So I won't...I won't be able to see you again before tomorrow night, I'm sorry. I -"

"Nothing to be sorry for," he reassured her. "I'll be fine."

"I'll be here the morning after though, okay? Like I always am." She was in a hurry now, gathering her things from where she'd scattered them all about in his room - it was a wonder he still wanted to be involved with her, really, after seeing what she did to his tidy room whenever she was over - and she was trying to fight a rising wave of anxious nausea as she thought of his transformation the next night.

"You really don't have to worry about coming to see me, Tonks. If it's too much -"

"Stop that. It's not too much, and I want to," she said firmly. "It's for my own peace of mind as well, you know." She darted over to him to press a quick kiss to his lips; then, after a second thought, she tugged on his tshirt before he could pull away to kiss him again, slower and deeper this time. She could taste mint toothpaste on his tongue, and the way he momentarily clung to her as she kissed him reminded her why she stopped by the mornings after the full moon. He needed her. He had never said as much, but she could sense it. "I have to leave now, else I'll be late for work. I wish I didn't have to, though."

"Okay. It's okay. I'll see you then, Tonks." She brushed a hand over his cheek, pressing a quick kiss to his jaw - which was clenched, he was always tense this close to the moon - before slinging her bag over her shoulder.

She had her hand on the doorknob when she stopped and turned around to face him again, heart leaping in her chest. "Remus?"

"Yes?" he replied distractedly, still searching for his jumper. He looked up at her as she hesitated.

She opened her mouth, but the words wouldn't come. She wanted to say it - but she found she couldn't, not now. _I love you. I'll be worried sick about you because I love you. Please be okay. You have to be okay because I love you._ But everything that she really wanted to say felt as if it was stuck in her throat. She blinked as he smiled bemusedly at her, then swallowed around the lump that had suddenly appeared in her throat. "Be safe, yeah?"

His face softened. "I'll be fine. Promise. Bye, Dora. Have a good day at work."

She spent the next two days oscillating between the almost breathtaking elation that comes with first realizing you are in love, and gnawing impatience to see him again. She wasn't planning on telling him just yet; at first, she wanted to be sure of her feelings, but the more she thought about them, the surer she was. Her actual problem was simply how to tell him without scaring him off. Even though they'd been together for months now, sometimes she felt that she was still navigating the potentially delicate situation that was intimacy with Remus Lupin. And so she knew that such a declaration, an admission containing the big L word, needed to be handled with equal delicacy.

Of course, she ended up telling him completely by accident.

She came over the morning after the full moon. As she usually did, she fixed him tea and toast, and sat on the edge of the bed while he picked at the toast, relieved to see some color start to return to his cheeks as he asked her about her day at work. She knew his transformations were better now that he could take the wolfsbane potion, but that didn't stop her from her incessant worrying over the state of his health every time she walked into his room to see him asleep sprawled on top of the bed covers, under-eye shadows starkly contrasting with the pallor of his face.

He felt well enough to attend the Order meeting that night, and she stayed overnight with him again, though the two of them fell asleep almost immediately after coming upstairs to his room; he was still asleep when she left for work, and she slipped a scrap of parchment under his wand to tell him she'd be back after her shift that evening.

And so that evening, she found herself back in his bed. They made idle chit chat as he inquired about her day at work, and then he'd kissed her; softly and chastely at first, then more deeply, his tongue sweeping across her bottom lip as he gently laid her back against the pillows. He laid on his side next to her, and they continued to kiss unhurriedly for several minutes; his fingers traced light circles on her side, so light she could barely feel his fingers through her shirt.

The first few times she'd stayed with him a day or two after the full moon, she'd been surprised when he initiated anything further than snogging. It didn't always lead to full-on sex, but she'd noticed that he seemed eager to pleasure her, even when he himself was too tired for it to be reciprocated. She used to feel guilty about this until she realized that he really did enjoy it, and that perhaps he needed it; that this kind of intimacy helped him to feel more human again. As for her, she took any opportunity she could get to show him that not only did she want to be around him after his transformations, but that she still wanted him in _that_ way; she wanted him to touch her, she wanted to touch him. Sometimes, if he felt up to it, she got him off with her hands or her mouth, but oftentimes he was content to do just that for her, with no reciprocation expected or needed.

He continued to kiss her now in his bed, his tongue exploring her mouth languidly while one of his hands cupped her cheek; his other hand moved from her side to slip under her tshirt, his palm skimming her abdomen. She moaned into his mouth as his thumb brushed against one of her nipples, and she arched into his touch as his fingers switched their attention to her other breast before moving lower again, his fingers tracing the waistband of her cotton shorts.

"Is this okay?"

"Fuck yes," she replied, nearly too eagerly, and she was rewarded with a laugh as he undid the tie on her shorts before she quickly shimmied them down her hips and kicked them off. He gently brushed his fingers over the damp center of her knickers, moving them quickly away as she tried to push against him.

"Tease," she said, letting her head fall back against the pillows as Remus gently kissed her neck; she felt him chuckle against her throat as she bucked her hips impatiently again.

"Don't worry, I'm rather short on willpower tonight myself." He hooked his fingers under the waistband of her knickers now, tugging them down until she kicked them away and they joined her shorts somewhere beyond the foot of the bed. "You're already so wet," he added breathlessly. Even now, after months of sleeping together, he always seemed shocked at how aroused she became from his touch.

"What can I say, you're a talented man." She sensed rather than saw his eyes roll, but she could feel him smiling as he continued to mouth at her neck.

"You flatter me." He shifted now, and she felt his erection press against her hip; she ran her hand down his side to palm him gently through his pyjama pants.

"Do you want me to...?" she murmured.

"Not yet," he replied. "Only you for now." His fingers were running teasingly up the inside of one thigh, before repeating the same motion down the other; Tonks let her legs fall open as he did so, and hiked her tshirt up to give him access to her breasts as his mouth continued to move lower down her neck, his tongue darting into the hollow between her collarbones.

She gasped as his tongue circled slowly around one nipple, his fingers still tracing patterns on her inner thighs but remaining frustratingly far from where she most wanted them. "What was that you were saying about not having any willpower tonight?" she managed, her arousal becoming a painful ache between her legs at this point.

"I might have lied. I have a _little_. Enough to ensure you get at least a little enjoyment out of this." His mouth had made its way over to her other breast now, lips closing over her nipple.

"Oh I'll enjoy this, that's not what you need to worry about; I might run out of patience, though." She ran her hands through her hair, holding his head where it was as his tongue continued to flick at her nipple.

"And then what'll happen?" His fingers were circling closer and closer to her center, but skimmed up to her hip at just the last second. She bucked her hips again with a huff of annoyance.

"Then I'll start bossing you around and _I'll_ be the one in charge here."

"Maybe I'd like that," he teased, and she filed away a mental note for later about the way his voice sounded husky with pleasure as he said that. "But since you've been so patient..."

His fingers brushed gently over her clit now, and she bit back a gasp. He repeated the motion, and his fingers remained where she wanted them this time, gently rubbing circles over the tiny bundle of nerves.

"Fucking finally, thank you," she groaned. "That feels great, keep doing that." His mouth resumed its earlier ministrations at her breasts, and the combination of his gentle fingers between her thighs and his tongue circling her nipples soon had her squirming on the bed. "I want your fingers inside me, Remus, please -"

To her surprise, he complied immediately, pulling back to look down at her as he gently pushed one finger easily inside her. "Okay?"

"Definitely okay. More."

He pulled his finger out and slid two inside her now, and she saw his eyes darken with desire. "Fuck, you're so wet," he breathed.

"I think you greatly underestimate how much time I spend thinking about your hands and what they can do to - _oh_." She broke off as he began to slowly thrust his fingers in and out of her, his thumb continuing to brush over her clit as he did so. " _Fuck_ , I love your hands. Keep doing that."

He chuckled. "This okay? Faster or slower?"

"A little - you can go faster -" she gasped. He complied, his other hand brushing her hair out of her face as he leaned down to kiss her, continuing to thrust his fingers in and out of her as his tongue slid against hers.

He pulled back slightly, his hand still tangled in her hair. "You're so beautiful," he said quietly as he looked down at her. Tonks felt a sudden flush of warm pleasure spread through her at the way he said this, at the way he was looking at her now while his fingers continued to move between her thighs.

"Fuck, Remus -" She spread her legs even wider, wedging one of them between his own; she could feel that his cock was still hard, and his hips jerked slightly as her bare leg pressed against his clothed erection. "You're so - that feels - _oh._ "

He'd pressed his fingers deeper inside her, crooking them slightly to rub at just the right spot; the heel of his hand was now grinding against her clit, and she thrust her hips up, craving the friction this provided. "Fuck, that feels so good. Keep doing just that, keep your hand right there. Don't you dare stop, I fucking love your hands - _fuck -_ " Her hips were thrusting jerkily now, and she knew this likely made his job harder, but the pressure of his palm against her clit and the feeling of his fingers inside her was sending a growing warmth straight to her core. "Don't stop, I'm close - don't stop, Remus -"

He was looking at her intently as his hand moved between her thighs, his other hand still tangled in her pink locks. His fingers tightened slightly in her hair now as he leaned down, mouthing gently at her ear. "Look at me when you come," he commanded quietly.

She felt a jolt of pleasure as he said this, and it was enough to push her over the edge; she moaned loudly as he pulled back again, and she looked him in the eyes just as she felt herself begin to clench around his fingers, gasping his name. The look of awed desire mixed with tenderness on his face as he looked down at her only served to intensify the sensations she was feeling, and she came harder than she could remember coming in a long time. His hand continued to gently work her through her orgasm, and then he finally pulled his fingers out of her before it became too much. She closed her eyes for a moment, feeling her heart pound in her chest as she leaned back against the pillows.

"You say the hottest fucking things sometimes, and I don't think you even realize it," she finally said breathlessly. He chuckled, brushing her hair out of her face again to press a kiss to her forehead.

"How was that?"

"Bloody amazing," she said lazily, eyes still closed. "I don't remember the last time I came so hard. I s'pose it's true what they say about sex being better when you're in love-" She suddenly clapped a hand over her mouth, her eyes flying open. It had just slipped out; she hadn't meant to say it, not now, not while she was half naked and he'd just made her come and there was any chance at all that he'd think she wasn't sincere. The last thing she wanted was for him to think that it was just something she'd said in the heat of the moment. She looked up at Remus, whose eyes had widened in surprise; his hand froze where it had been stroking her hair.

He didn't say anything for a long moment. Tonks felt as if her heart had stopped. "Do you mean that?" he finally asked quietly.

"I do," she replied, voice shaking slightly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out like this, but I do mean it." She took a deep breath. "I love you, Remus." He was still quiet, though one of his hands had resumed tracing circles on her hip. "I don't...you don't need to say anything now. If it's too soon, or if you don't - like I said, I absolutely mean it, but if you aren't ready, there's absolutely no pressure to - I don't want you to feel like you have to -"

"I love you too," he said now, almost too quiet for her to hear. She stopped her nervous babble, finally meeting his eyes. He was smiling at her, almost shyly. "Of course I love you too. I - I just...wouldn't have thought you'd..."

She felt her breath leave her in a whooshed sigh of relief. "Don't be ridiculous. Wouldn't have thought I'd feel the same way, is that what you were going to say? That's daft; what's there about you not to love?" His eyebrows shot up, and she glared at him, pressing a warning finger to his lips as he started to open his mouth. "That was rhetorical so don't you dare answer that question, you git, I won't hear it. Because I _love_ you. And now I'm going to keep saying that like a sap until you're positively sick of it and you change your mind."

"I don't think I could ever be sick of it," Remus replied, smiling at her.

"Don't test me, I'm excellent at pushing people's limits," Tonks warned teasingly, reaching up to tangle her hand in his hair. "Now kiss me again. Show me how you love me."

Remus complied, bending his head down to press his lips to hers. She sighed into his mouth as he deepened the kiss, continuing to run her hands through his hair and stroking the back of his neck like she knew he liked. She gently hooked her leg around his waist, pushing her hips against his when she felt that he was hard again. She felt a spark of arousal ignite in her belly yet again as he continued to kiss her. "Speaking of limits," she murmured, "let me know if you need to stop. I know that yesterday was -"

"Don't worry, I'm fine," he responded, his hand slipping over her waist to gently cup her ass, squeezing her even closer to him. "I think I could actually...that is, if you would want..." She kissed her way down his throat, and from the way she felt him swallow, she didn't need to look at his face to know that he was blushing.

"If it's sex you're referring to, yes, I would want," she murmured, her teeth grazing across his Adam's apple. "But we don't have to if you're not up for it. Do you want me to suck your cock?"

"No, I...I want to be inside you."

"Mmm. Well, I like the sound of that. We can have sex on our sides, if that would be easier."

"No, I want to look at you."

She drew back so that she could meet his gaze, and she was suddenly struck by the intensity with which he was looking at her. She swallowed, sitting up slightly to pull her tshirt off. "I can be on top, then. I'll take it easy on you. No promises for next time, though," she added as he grinned at her. "I'm shagging you sideways next time you're up for it, yeah?"

"You know that's an offer I can't turn down," he replied, smiling as he lifted his hips so she could tug his pyjama pants down off his legs. "Perhaps I can even return...perhaps I can even return the favor," he finished with slight difficulty, the teasing look on his face suddenly disappearing and his eyes fluttering closed as she ran a hand over his erection.

She swung her leg over him to straddle him now, tugging on the hem of his tshirt. "I'm holding you to that. Now take this off." He sat up slightly to comply, tossing his shirt over the side of the bed as he leaned back into the pillows. His hands came up to grip her hips as she positioned herself over him. She moaned as she slowly lowered herself onto his erection, then began to roll her hips unhurriedly.

"Fuck, you feel good," she breathed. He groaned, his hands gently running up her sides until he was cupping her breasts, his thumbs brushing across her nipples. She bit her lip, closing her eyes as she continued to set a rhythm with her hips, sliding up and down on his cock as his thumbs continued to circle her nipples. "Oh, _fuck_. Is this - is this okay for you -?"

"Keep doing what you're doing, Dora," he assured her, his voice rough. He squeezed her breasts gently, then his hands moved back to her hips, his fingers tightening against the skin there. "Kiss me."

Tonks leaned forward until her chest was pressed against his, meeting his mouth for a passionate, open-mouthed kiss, his hands pressing against her back as their tongues met. She moaned into his mouth as the new angle provided friction for her clit and she continued to grind her hips against his. She dropped her head to his shoulder, her teeth scraping against his collarbone as she pressed messy kisses to the skin there. "I think I can come again," she gasped.

"Come again for me, Dora. You're so beautiful when you come," he urged hoarsely.

She moaned again at his words. "I love fucking you. I fucking love your cock. I love _you_ ," she panted, her hips' movements becoming jerkier now. The way he was looking at her, his face flushed; the feeling of his body beneath hers, of his lean torso beneath her hands, and the sensation of his cock thrusting inside her were bringing her close to the brink of another orgasm; she was almost surprised at how intense it all felt. She'd had plenty of casual sex, plenty of intimate sex, both with Remus and with others before him, but never before had she craved such closeness with someone as she did now with him. "Fuck, I love you," she managed again, the ache between her thighs nearing its peak as she continued to ride him. "Remus, _fuck -_ "

"I love you," he replied roughly. His hands were squeezing her hips almost painfully now, helping her along in her movements. "I'm close, Dora - "

"Come with me, Remus, I'm about to come, yeah?" She reached down to circle her clit with her fingers now, the movement of her hips frantic. His hands came up to cup her breasts again, brushing and pinching her nipples, and then she moaned loudly as she came a second time, her back arching as she felt herself clench around him.

Remus groaned, his hips jerking upwards now; she felt his thighs against her ass as he pressed his heels into the bed in an attempt to thrust even deeper inside her. He came as she started to come down in the aftershocks of her own orgasm, gasping her name as she leaned forward to whisper breathless encouragement in his ear.

She pressed a gentle kiss to his lips as he softened inside her before she carefully rolled off him. After a few moments of recovering his breath, Remus rolled over, brushing his lips against her temple and slipping his fingers between her thighs; he muttered a quick spell to clean her up, as he always did. It had taken her by surprise the first time he did it, as she'd found that a lot of men generally didn't care about the mess they'd made after the fact, but it was always something she'd found oddly sweet about Remus.

"So d'you agree?"

"Do I agree with what?" Remus replied, tugging the duvet up so that it was covering them both.

"That sex is better when you're in love. What do you think?"

Remus hummed thoughtfully. "Well, to be honest, I always really...I've always really enjoyed sex with you."

"Is that your way of telling me you've been in love with me for ages now?" she teased. He blushed, but he gave her a soft smile.

"I suppose maybe it is," he replied. She beamed at him, happiness bubbling up in her stomach again as she settled against his side.

"Good, because I reckon I've loved you for ages now, too."

As they lay in bed together, idly chatting and moving drowsily closer to sleep, Tonks thought that if someone had told her six months prior that her favorite place in the entire world would soon be a 35 year old werewolf ex-professor's bed, she'd have told them they were bonkers. But now, Tonks was sure that this was her favorite place to be. There might be a war raging on outside, and she knew that their continued relationship wouldn't be easy, that they would face insecurities and prejudice and other hardships; but none of that existed here, where the two of them could be together, where they could just _be_ , and that was enough for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN A teensy bit more plot in this one, though still not much because sex is fun and I wanted to give these two dorky darlings some fun and happiness for once. I hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading!


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